A Journey Out of the Darkness – Finding My ‘Big Why’!

In my current situation I have really struggled to see the light at the end of the tunnel, let alone reach it.  Since having anxiety and depression, I have felt very isolated from the world, and I lost my direction in life.

“Long is the way and hard, that out of hell leads up to the light.”

      John Milton – Paradise Lost

In her ‘Make Peace with Money’ course, Kim begins by asking people to decide on their ‘Big Why’.  The ‘Big Why’ is all about finding what you are truly passionate about, and what you really what to achieve.

I have recently been thinking about my ‘Big Why’, and realised that it involves taking a giant step away from my old life, and more importantly, allowing myself to make this step.

I find thinking about trying to get back to work a terrifying prospect, it’s not just because I don’t want to work, it’s because so many of my triggers are related to work, in particular the customer service side of things (dealing with complaints, etc….).  As all of my experience has been in this industry it means that I would have to find a new sector and pretty much start from scratch.

My recent experience has also made me anxious about finding a company that shares my values.  Every company says how they provide the best customer service for their clients, and that they love their employees, and how they are committed to career development, but how much of this is actually true?

I have seem so many examples of companies taking advantage of their employees, and top of the list is dumping too much work on one person so they can save money; there is little care about the employee’s health or wellbeing.

There are good companies out there, but how do you find them?

All I know is that at this stage, I need to put my health before my career.

So, back to my ‘Big Why’; what is it that I am passionate about?

typewriter image

Firstly I love to write; one of my proudest achievements has been writing a novel called ‘Rotten Apples’ which I self published on Amazon Kindle.  I am in the process of writing a couple of follow-ups and have other ideas for novels (this is not a pitch in case any literary agents are reading….).  Amazon link below……

Secondly I want to help other people; I enjoyed the work I did, but I found it hard to deal with the limitations companies set which limited the service I could give.  When I was working with Kim on our Dream On Foundation I felt a sense of freedom and enjoyment that I had never experienced before, unfortunately my mental health problems meant we have had to put this on hold for the time being.

support people image

The next step was to figure out how I could combine my passions of writing and helping people, and turn my negative experiences into a positive?

‘And Breathe…’ is that start of my ‘Big Why’; it’s the first step in helping to promote a better understanding of mental health, and in my doing all I can to try and improve health and wellbeing in the workplace.

It has taken some serious health problems to force me to take action on my finding my ‘Big Why’; I would suggest you try and find yours before this sort of thing happens to you.

If you are already suffering from health problems and struggling to get back into work, maybe take the opportunity to stop, and really think about what it is you want to do with your life.  I know it’s hard, and for some of you there will be a lot on your shoulders, but try and take money out of the thought process and try to follow your heart.

This is not easy; I feel guilt everyday because Kim is the sole earner and I know the pressure that she is under, but I also know that in order to truly get well I need to do accept that I am ill, and take this opportunity to follow my passions.

I do believe that passion is the most important thing; if you do what you are passionate about then it won’t seem like hard work, and the money will come.

I want you to sit in silence, close your eyes, take a deep breath, and think about what you are passionate about, ask yourself, what is your ‘Big Why’?  Once you have it, it’s time to take action.

I am not saying you need to quit your job, but maybe it’s time to start thinking and asking yourself questions; the first question is; are you happy?

The best thing is to take it one small step at a time.

“A journey of a thousand miles starts with a single step.”


Thank you, thank you, thank you

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