About Me

Hi, my name is Paul Harris, since September 2015 I have suffered with anxiety, panic and depression.

Mental health issues can be triggered by a variety of things, but mine was initially caused by work related stress.

My journey started on a normal morning in September; I took the underground to work, got into the office and turned on my computer; next I went to open my e-mails and that’s when my life changed……

A wave of emotion hit me and all I wanted to do was burst into tears; I felt scared and I started struggling to breath.  So as not to cause a scene in front of a room full of around 50 colleagues, I went and locked myself in the disabled toilet.

This was my first ever panic attack, and to be honest, I had no idea what was going on, all I remember thinking was that something in my head ha d broken and I was going mad.

To start with I only had problems when I was at work.  When I was at home or out with friends I was fine.  This all changed in January 2016 when the anxiety and panic took over my whole life.

One morning I woke up to get ready for work, went to the bathroom to have a shower and my legs would not let me get into the bath; all I could do was go back to bed….. Since then I have been unable to work.

My journey has not been easy, I have been in very dark places mentally, and have really struggled to see any light at the end of the tunnel.  I have a problem with alcohol which started when I used it to self medicate.  The anxiety used to get so bad that I just wanted something to try and make it stop.

I am very lucky; I have a wonderful wife, Kim, who has stuck by my through all the troubles, to be honest I don’t think I would be in the improved state that I am in if it was not for her.

Me, Kim and our cheeky little Westie Leo.

There are also some other pretty awesome people who are, and have helped me along the way to whom I am eternally grateful.

My journey is still a work in progress; where it will take me?  I have no idea; all I do know is that my life is going to be very different from now on.