At the moment everything feels like a massive challenge. Having to make major changes to your life is bloody difficult at the best of times however, when the changes are forced and not really of your doing, it makes it even tougher to come to terms with.
I have tried to keep myself calm and relaxed by keeping busy, but I find the constant barriers I face have a really negative effect on my mood and how I feel about myself and my capabilities. The speed of progress is painfully slow and this dents my motivation to a point where I just want to sit in a dark room and watch TV.
“Sometimes, I feel like one who is on the sidelines, who has missed life itself.”
– Nelson Mandela
I feel as though the world is going on around me and I’m just stood watching. I want to get off the sidelines and into the game, but there is so much to contend with. My confidence is shot to pieces, I don’t even know if I can play the game anymore; I don’t even know what game I am meant to be playing.
The engine is seriously running out of fuel, and that’s where the treacle comes into it; just trying to do anything seems to take so much effort. Read more