The Isolation of Anxiety & Depression

One of my main anxious fears is being around people, and talking to people.  When I first had my breakdown I struggled to leave home and could not walk up the local high road without feeling anxious; my body would be tense, I would look down at the pavement, and move quickly, just to try and avoid people.

Things are slightly better now; I can go out and not have the same level of fear that I did.  This is probably down to the fact that I am living in a different area.  In Chiswick I was in a block of flats, so the chances of bumping into a neighbour were greater, plus there was always the chance of seeing someone I knew when on the High Road or out walking Leo.  Where I am now, no one knows me, and so the chances of having to stop and talk to someone are a lot less. Read more

Demons of Darkness – Olivia B

Things have been a real struggle recently; the depression has hit hard since Friday and it literally paralyses me so I cannot do much of anything.

I was browsing the internet whilst on the sofa and found this poem; I have no idea who the writer is, but I thought I would share it because it reminded me to keep fighting the demons, even when they push you to the bottom of the mountain that you’ve been desperately trying to climb…… Read more

Sometimes it Feels the Nightmare Will NEVER End?

“Light and darkness create an opposition, yet depend on each other just as the step taken by the right leg depends on the step taken by the left.” – Sekito

Last week was a real struggle; I thought I was doing OK, and I was on a bit of an upward roll; but then the wheels completely fell off.

When this happens it is like a high speed crash, you hit rock bottom with a spectacular thump, and literally have to scrape yourself up off the floor.

Panic Painting - Photo by Aarón Blanco Tejedor on Unsplash

So what happened?  What went so terribly wrong? Read more

Anxiety and the White Knuckle Roller Coaster Ride.

I’m not sure I always feel like I’m in the seat. Sometimes I’m only holding on by one hand and flying out behind the roller coaster. I don’t know anybody who doesn’t feel that way. – David Morse

Everybody experiences stress in their lives, and life is always full of ups and downs; how you deal with these challenges is important to your health, both physically and mentally.

In the past I would have said that I was pretty good at riding the rollercoaster of life, but since I have been struggling with anxiety and depression the ride has become terrifying, and I often feel that I am just going to fly off the rails and crash into the abyss.

When you suffer with anxiety and depression you forget that life has its struggles and that anxiety is a natural reaction to some situations.  It is very difficult to gauge what is a normal level of stress and how much is attributed to your condition. Read more

Depression and Self Blame.

What would you say if I told you that Life Loves You and the Universe wants the Best for You?

You might think I really have lost my mind, and that I’m talking a load of rubbish.

During my struggle with anxiety and depression, I would have said that the world was against me I hated myself and the universe couldn’t care less about me.

Self blame and self loathing are a big problem that people with depression have to battle, this generally stems from the feelings of helplessness and hopelessness, and a general feeling of having no control in your life. Read more