Wading Through Treacle….

At the moment everything feels like a massive challenge.  Having to make major changes to your life is bloody difficult at the best of times however, when the changes are forced and not really of your doing, it makes it even tougher to come to terms with.

I have tried to keep myself calm and relaxed by keeping busy, but I find the constant barriers I face have a really negative effect on my mood and how I feel about myself and my capabilities.  The speed of progress is painfully slow and this dents my motivation to a point where I just want to sit in a dark room and watch TV.

“Sometimes, I feel like one who is on the sidelines, who has missed life itself.”

– Nelson Mandela

I feel as though the world is going on around me and I’m just stood watching.  I want to get off the sidelines and into the game, but there is so much to contend with.  My confidence is shot to pieces, I don’t even know if I can play the game anymore; I don’t even know what game I am meant to be playing.

The engine is seriously running out of fuel, and that’s where the treacle comes into it; just trying to do anything seems to take so much effort. Read more

Alastair Campbell: Depression & Me. Another Great Mental Health Documentary.

This was another great documentary by the BBC for Mental Health Awareness Week; and again, it was great to see a public figure being so open in sharing their struggle with a mental health issue.

Like most words related to mental health issues, depression is wildly misused.  As we saw with Alastair Campbell, depression is not just feeling sad or unhappy for a short while; it is a long term, daily struggle and it can make your mood change in split seconds.

The main question raised by the documentary was the use of medication as a treatment.  It was plain to see that the medication Alastair was taking only helped to reduce the feelings of depression; his family were shocked that he could switch from feeling fine to being in a depressed state in just a matter of seconds whilst being on medication. Read more

Depressed or Just Ungrateful?

I am really struggling with the depression at the moment, I don’t feel as though I am getting anywhere, which really brings me down, I lose motivation and end up thinking ‘what’s the point?’

It’s not to say that nothing good is happening, it’s just that they seem short lived, and the negative stuff soon overwhelms the positive.  Because of this I then get stressed that I am being ungrateful for the good things that are happening, and the progress I am making.  It’s a vicious cycle.

The main area I am struggling with is work, and not being able to earn money.  This is a big cause of the depression because it makes me feel useless and a burden.  The problem I have is that I pretty much have to start a career from scratch.  It is hard enough trying to change industries when you have a job, throw in some serious anxious triggers, being out of work for 3 years and a mental health disability and the options are pretty slim.

So what’s stopping me from working? Read more

A Walk in the Woods – Looking for Shinrin-yoku.

“A tree with strong roots laughs at storms” – Malay Proverb

We all know that getting out and walking is good for our mental health, but for that bit extra help in feeling better take a walk in the woods.

Walking among trees is really good for our wellbeing.  You must have felt it when you’ve been for a walk in woodland; the feelings of relaxation and grounding, of feeling more peaceful?  The Japanese call this feeling shinrin-yoku, or forest breathing.

I will be exploring more about why walking amongst trees is so good for us, but for now I want to share a couple of my experiences with you, and yes….. this is when it gets a bit woo woo, but bear with me. Read more